20 Ways To Annoy Our Favorite Twilight Characters
by Rosalice
Summary: Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalice, Rosabelle, Leah, Aro, Caius, and more!
1. Edward

_Disclaimer- I have nothing against these characters. I am a total twilighter. This was just a random thing I did in my spare time. Also, I am aware there are other lists like this. This is all copyrighted by Rosalice Do not steal. I will know._

20 Ways To Annoy Edward Cullen

1. Ask him to bite you.

2. Ask him to bite you... again.

3. Show him a copy of Twilight, and ask him if it feels intruding that every single move he does is on paper, and being sold across the world.

4. Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson (Spunk Ransom) is hot.

5. If he says no, accuse him of self-hatred.

6. If he says yes, accuse him of being gay. (Noooooooooooo!! NO NO NO NO NO! I will NOT believe this! :P)

7. Once again ask him to bite you.

8. Ask him to eat a sandwich.

9. When he refuses, ask him why he won't eat.

10. When he still won't respond, tell him anorexia is unhealthy.

11. Put a penguin in his room.

12. Hide Bella, and replace her with a Spider Monkey.

13. Convince Alice to tell Edward she saw something horrible in his future, but not tell him what.

14. Bring him to a tanning salon. (Waaaah... I like your pale skin!)

15. Tell him that Bella will love him more if he gets a tan.

16. After he's nice and tan, say Ooops, and tell him it was actually Jessica Stanley that wanted the tan skin.

17. Make him bleach his skin back.

18. RUN, RUN, RUN!

19. Ask him to bite you AGAIN.

20. Move Bella's house down to LaPush.

_20 ways to annoy Bella, coming soon!_


	2. Bella

_Disclaimer- I have nothing against these characters. I am a total twilighter. This was just a random thing I did in my spare time. Also, I am aware there are other lists like this. This is all copyrighted by Rosalice Do not steal. I will know._

20 Ways To Annoy Bella Swan

1. See #3 of 20 Ways To Annoy Edward Cullen

2. Make her read those really cheap non-Twilight vampire romance novels that always have a bad ending.

3. Sign her up for Tennis

4. Get Laura to watch her at her first competition

5. Give Laura a video camera

6. Convince Alice that Bella is giving her free will to redecorate her room... and her.

7. Remind her about her first prom.

8. Tape her arm in a manner that she always sees the wooden wolf and the crystal heart bracelet.

9. "Accidentally" make Tanya think that Edward asked her for a kiss. (Wait... this would annoy both of them!)

10. In her sleep, keep muttering nightmares in her ear.

11. Watch her wake up and scream.

12. Let in angry hordes of fangirls into Edwards room (WARNING: May be dangerous if she is still newborn!)

13. Remember the arm-wrestling bet? That only applied to Emmet. -nudge- -nudge- -wink- -wink-

14. Now that she's a vamp, and Edward's chasing you, ask her to bite you.

15. Flick her in the head for no reason.

16. Find a way to break the treaty; convince each side that the other side started it.

17. Remember the Tennis? Get Mike to sign up.

18. Get Tyler too.

19. Oh yeah, did I forget Eric?

20. Get Renee to come over to Bella's house, and convince her that she's healthy again -nudge- -nudge- -wink- -wink-

_20 ways to annoy Alice, coming soon!_


	3. Alice

_Disclaimer- I have nothing against these characters. I am a total twilighter. This was just a random thing I did in my spare time. Also, I am aware there are other lists like this. This is all copyrighted by Rosalice Do not steal. I will know._

**20 ways to annoy Alice Cullen**

1. Ask her if she saw it coming (the question).

2. Repeat every 2 minutes.

3. Hand out flyers with her cell phone number, calling it a free phycic hotline.

4. Wave garlic and a cross in front of her face.

5. When she asks what you're doing, tell her you read it somewhere.

6. Call her a little girl.

7. RUN LIKE YOU WEREN'T ONLY HUMAN! P

8. Take her credit cards.

9. Leave a false trail of the credit card's scent somewhere in New Zealand.

10. Watch her swim all the way across the world. XD XD XD

11. Ask her what will happen to you in 15 minutes.

12. Repeat.

13. Buy Bella some of the most /plain/ clothing in the world.

14. Complain about her /ice, cold/ heart.

15. Sign Alice and Edward up for a chess tournament.

16. Call her a midget.

17. Repeat number 7.

18. Trash the Cullen's outfits (DANGER! DANGER!)

19. Don't write her a #20.

20. Dangit! Didn't you just hear what I just said?

_20 ways to annoy Jasper Hale coming soon!_


	4. Jasper

_Disclaimer- I have nothing against these characters. I am a total twilighter. This was just a random thing I did in my spare time. Also, I am aware there are other lists like this. This is all copyrighted by Rosalice Do not steal. I will know._

**20 ways to annoy Jasper Hale**

1. Call him Jasper Cullen.

2. When he complains, tell him _all _the fangirls call him that.

3. Tell him real men don't get effected by emotions.

4. Every time you see him, salute him.

5. Call Maria and tell her that Jasper wants to come back to her.

6. Umm... haven't I said this too many times already? Hello. Run.

7. Lock him in a room with a bunch of PMSing girls.

8. Step back and watch the action from a safe distance.

9. Ruin his clothes, and then come along with Alice to buy him a new wardrobe.

10. Get angry around him for no reason.

11. Use your ever pwnsome photoshop skills to make it look like Alice is kissing Edward.

12. Get a paper cut, and stick it in your mouth.

13. Enjoy his twitching torture. (WARNING- Do not attempt unless you are as bloodthirsty as Rosabelle and I are :P)

14. Call him emo.

15. Repeat #6

16. Run up and try to bite him.

17. Bring in the fan girls, ladies and gentlemen!

18. Get angry around him. Wait, didn't I say this already?

19. Find a shapeshifter, and keep placing them infront of Jazz until one of them imprints.

20. Hijack the O-negative storage and slowly dump them down your throat while Jazz is watching (WARNING- Same warning as #13)

_20 ways to annoy Rosalie Hale coming soon!_


	5. Rosalie

_**Authors Note: **_**Thankyou for all the great feedback, you guys. ) I really appreciate it all. Now let's try even **_**harder **_**to get more hits then Rosabelle's story, Spying for 16 year old idiots P (We're right behind them, in 2nd place)**

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_Disclaimer- I have nothing against these characters. I am a total twilighter. This was just a random thing I did in my spare time. Also, I am aware there are other lists like this. This is all copyrighted by Rosalice Do not steal. I will know._

**20 ways to annoy Rosalice Hale**

1. Call her Rosalie Cullen.

2. Start talking about all the positive things about being _human_.

3. Laugh in her face and tell her about the fact that she has no power.

4. Ask her how she feels about having Nikki Reed play her; and about the fact that she really doesn't look the part. (Sorry, sorry. That's just my opinion)

5. Switch the mirror in her room with one of the ones that make you look fat, not just stretched.

6. Umm... haven't I said this too many times already? Hello. Run.

7. Support the Belle for Vampire campain P

8. Set her up on a blind date with Jacob.

9. Hide somewhere behind the scenes on the date, kick back, enjoy the popcorn, and watch the drama.

10. Dress up as Royce in a tuxedo.

11. The next part of that is self explanitory. Use the power of deja vu.

12. Give her a spa ticket, and tell her that she really, really deserves it. Really.

13. Find Jacob's list of non-funny Blond jokes.

14. Read one of them every 30 seconds.

15. Repeat.

16. Ask her why she doesn't have any fan guys.

17. Remind her about the fact that Edward liked Bella over her.

18. Use the pwnsome Photoshop skills you used with Jasper to give Rosalie a mustache.

19. Send the photos off to the local newspaper.

20. Cut off all of her hair, and sell it as a wig. (I would /so/ buy that!)

_20 ways to annoy Emmett Cullen coming soon!_


	6. Emmett

**Authors note: Sorry I haven't updated, in like, 4-evah! Events started catching up with me. By the time I finish typing this message, I would have already started on the 20 ways to annoy Carlisle Cullen Toodles! Rosalice**

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_Disclaimer- I have nothing against these characters. I am a total twilighter. This was just a random thing I did in my spare time. Also, I am aware there are other lists like this. This is all copyrighted by Rosalice Do not steal. I will know._

**20 ways to annoy Emmett Cullen**

1. Tell him Barney doesn't exist P (Thankyou Flamepelt3377 )

2. Remind him he has the least fangirls

3. Ask him how he feels as always being the youngest.

4. Stick a _Hug Me_ sign on his back.

5. Steal his teddy bear; tell him to hug himself.

6. Tell him he has grizzly stuck inbetween his teeth.

7. Steal his jeep.

8. Tell one of Rosalie's admirerers that she has a crush on him, and get him to surprise kiss her... right infront of Emmett.

9. Ask him why none of his powers have intensified.

10. Well he tells you it's his strength, tell him everyone has that.

11. When he tries to argue, jump up on a chair and start screaming, "_Emmett's a human! Emmett's a human!"_

12. Make the grizzly's extinct.

13. Challenge him to an arm wrestling contest.

14. When he says that you're human, and you couldn't win, remind him about #11.

15. Dodge under the sofa he's sure to throw at you.

16. Tell him a _real _boyfriend would fix his girlfriend's car, and not the other way around.

17. Watch him mess up Rosalie's car.

18. Find another human with the _La Tua Cantante_ scent, and watch him go nuts.

19. Watch him devour the humans.

20. Remind him now that Edward has much, much more self control then he does.

20 ways to annoy Carlisle Cullen coming soon!


	7. Carlisle

**Authors Note:**** Ehmigawd, this is fun I let my fandom go... a little further then I usually go. But please know I am more obsessed with Edward then I am with Carlisle. I just... like Carlisle alot too P  
**

Disclaimer- I have nothing against these characters. I am a total twilighter. This was just a random thing I did in my spare time. Also, I am aware there are other lists like this. This is all copyrighted by Rosalice Do not steal. I will know.

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20 ways to annoy Carlisle Cullen

1. Drag yourself to him, tell him you've been hit with the Spanish Flu (Spanish Influenza), and then ask him to bite you.

2. Force him to eat a full meal infront of all the hospital staff.

3. Pronounce his name Car-lizz-le

4. Jump up in front of him, and beg him to go shirtless.

5. Remind him that if he was frozen at 17, everyone would be like, _Edward, who? _But they're not

6. Ask him why you've never seen him hunt before.

7. When he refuses to answer, notion towards the O-negative storage.

8. Ask him if he believes in hunting vampires.

9. When he says no and asks why, notion towards his father's religion.

10. Steal all the books from his room and hide them in Edward's room.

11. Ask him if he has an accent or not (Because I /honestly/ still have not figured that out )

12. Stalk him, and write down every movement he does in a journal.

13. Let go the crazy fan girls

14. Makeover his office

15. Ask him what how compassion could help in a real situation -.-

16. Screech next to his ear every five seconds, "OMIGOD IT'S CARLISLE!"

17. Run up, and tell him you love him, even though he's ancient.

18. Ask him if he's met dracula yet.

19. When he says no, tell him that he should, because he's waaaaayyyy before his time.

20. Ehmm... run? (Remember that little rhyme Rosabelle came up with? P** ABCD OTD, Edward Cullen's chasing me. So is James and Carlisle, they've been shirtless for awhile. ABCD OTD, Look what Stephenie's done to me!! **XD XD XD)

20 ways to annoy Esme Cullen coming soon!


	8. Esme

_Authors Note- Sorry it took so long. This was /really/ /really/ /really/ hard to get. There aren't that many facts about Esme that I had to work with. -cry- Sorry if the aren't as snappy as the Carlisle ones._

_Disclaimer- I have nothing against these characters. I am a total twilighter. This was just a random thing I did in my spare time. Also, I am aware there are other lists like this. This is all copyrighted by Rosalice Do not steal. I will know._

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20 ways to annoy Esme Cullen

1. Inform her what Carlisle /really/ does during the night shifts.

2. Run around the house in mud ruining all her furniture

3. Start chewing on hair.

4. When she asks you what you are doing, tell her you wondered if her hair tasted like Caramel.

5. Ask her why she married twice.

6. When she says Charles wasn't right for her, ask her why she then married someone 2 centuries older then her.

7. Ask her if she has ever hunted.

8. Right in her face, tell her about all the children that you will have some day.

9. Run up to her and start singing "Ohiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiio! Ohiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiio!"

10. Take a hammer and break the living room table.

11. When she chases you, tell her that a real mother wouldn't chase a random person down the street.

12. Ask her why only Alice decorates.

13. Tell her that Bella only cliff-dived to have the same fate as Esme.

14. Ask her if she had to beg to let Carlisle buy her an island.

15. Ask her if she has any ability at all; if anything had been sharpened.

16. If she pauses for just a second, run up and laugh in her face.

17. Ask her if her beauty has increased at all, whatsoever.

18. Place a bunch of diet brochures on her table.

19. Run... fast...

20. Don't give her a number 20.

20 ways to annoy Jacob Black coming soon!


	9. Jacob

**Authors Note- It's the time everyone has been waiting for! 20 ways to annoy Jacob Black . Sorry. I am a total **_**Team Edward **_**supporter, and this? This was **_**fun.**_** Very, very, very fun ! Anyway, I need your ideas. Once I finish with these, I am thinking about having a fanfic for each, called **_**20 Ways To Annoy In Action! **_**What do you think? A little story where each chapter is Rosalice and Rosabelle annoying them all, straight from the list. Please comment!**

Disclaimer- I have nothing against these characters. I am a total twilighter. This was just a random thing I did in my spare time. Also, I am aware there are other lists like this. This is all copyrighted by Rosalice Do not steal. I will know.

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20 Ways To Annoy Jacob Black

1. Put a leash around his neck (Thankyou EdwardCullensLongLostSISTER )

2. _Accidentally _mislead him to a Team-Edward con.

3. Convince him to dress up as a vampire for halloween.

4. Give him a chew toy for christmas.

5. Start yelling at him.

6. When he asks what you're doing, tell him you are trying to transform.

7. Tell him if he wants more fangirls.

8. If he says yes, bleach his skin, and sprinkle glitter on him.

9. Ask him to play fetch.

10. Tell him all he's good for is a space heater.

11. Crash the car he's working on.

12. Print out a picture of a full moon and wave it over him.

13. When he asks you what you're doing, start yelling "YOU ARENT A REAL WEREWOLF!"

14. While he is transformed, steal his clothes.

15. Tell him you can make fun of him, becuase he couldn't catch you as quickly as a Cullen could.

16. Tell him Bella wants to kiss him in the closet, and watch him run in... to the closet Rosalie is in.

17. Laugh, and watch from a distance.

18. When he starts going crazy, tell him he should go see a vet.

19. Ask him how he feels about the country Switzerland

20. Tell him that he has /really/ bad names for chapters.

20 ways to annoy Rosalice Cullen, coming soon!


	10. Rosalice and Rosabelle: Extra Chapter

Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in... forever. This is Rosalice and Rosabelle, 2 characters from me and... Rosabelle's fanfiction, Moonlight's Daughters :D This was extremely fun, because these characters are _us._ It's fun knowing how to annoy each other. Extremely so ^^

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10 ways to annoy Rosalice Cullen

1. Diss her fashion sense. (Thanks alot, Rosabelle .)

2. Call her emo. (Once again, thanks, Sabelle .)

3. Hack her website

4. Kiss her crush on purpose

5. Lock her in a room with uncle Sam Uley

6. Rip up her carefully organized stalking log of everything grandfather Edward did that day.

7. Dye all her dark colored clothes yellow.

8. Cut of her hair while she's asleep (Rosalice and Rosabelle are only 1/3rds vampire)

9. Make her spend an hour with Rosabelle, and not allow her to get pissed.

10. Tell her she's not allowed to shop at Hot Topic.

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10 ways to annoy Rosabelle Black

1. Step on her toe. Repeatedly.

2. Ban her from cussing for 24 hours.

3. Screw Naruto.

4. Kick her in the shin.

5. Squeeze the life out of her hand.

6. Try to hurt her best friend.

7. Call her an Anime Nerd.

8. Poke her every 10 seconds.

9. Make her spend an hour with Rosalice, and not allow her to get pissed.

10. Burn all of her black clothes

_Next, 20 ways to annoy Leah Clearwater_


	11. Leah

**Author's Note: I would just to take this time to say that you guys are the Pwnsomest Pwny Fanpires ever, and thankyou for making 20 Ways my most sucessful fanfiction ever, and also for contributing ideas when I'm at a dead end ^^**

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**20 Ways To Annoy Leah Clearwater**

1. Remind her she is a genetic dead end and probably can't have kids. _(Thankyou CherryBlossoms123456)_

2. Constantly talk about how great Sam Uley is. _(Thankyou CherryBlossoms123456)_

3.Talk about how Sam and Emily are getting along. _(Thankyou CherryBlossoms123456)_

4. Remind her about the fact that Jacob chose a half vamp over her._ (Thankyou Holly Marie Fowl)_

5. Whenever she doesn't look happy, jump up in her face and start yelling, "IMPRINT ALREADY!"

6. If she tells you that she wasn't even thinking about _you know who,_ tell her it doesn't matter, and repeat #5.

7. Spray her with a water bottle.

8. If she starts getting to mad, and is about to transform, take out a whip, and start slapping her with it.

9. Tell her she's too un-modest.

10. When she asks you why, ask her what she remembers seeing through the other pack member's eyes.

11. Offer to make her dinnner.

12. When dinner comes, place in front of her 5 plates of roadkill.

13. When she refuses to eat, tell her a _real _shapeshifter would have the guts to eat it.

14. Watch her competitive personality make her barf.

15. Switch all her clothes with Esme.

16. Force her to read Vampire Kisses.

17. Hack her MP3 Player

18. Replace all her songs with cheesy heart-broken songs.

19. Dodge the MP3 Player that is sure to be thrown at you.

20. Ask her why she eats like a guy.

_Coming Soon, 20 ways to annoy Aro and 20 ways to annoy Caius, both in one Article! ^^_


	12. Aro and Caius

**Author's Note: Sorry it took so long! You guys pwn, you know that, right? ^^ You guys totally made up almost half of my 20 ways to annoy Aro, and I have to say, "Thank Edward," because I was really stuck at that point. =D Sorry for the wait. Anyway, I swear at the end of this fic (Whenever it WILL end), I'll be giving away awards to the best contributers =D  
**

**Oh, and some people asked me if I could make a 20 Ways To Annoy Renesmee, and I have to object, sadly, not becuase I'm a lazy bum, but because she has no actual personality given from Stephenie Meyer in New Moon, definetly not enough to give 20 ways. Maybe 2. Maybe even 5 at the maximum. But not 20. Sorry D= Anyway, enjoy the 40 Ways =D  
**

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20 Ways To Annoy Aro**

1. Ask him why he's constantly happy, even when talking about his own pain. _(Thankyou Flamepelt3377)_

2. Ask him if he was named after an arrow. _(Thankyou SarahB0B)_

3. Them question him if he has a brother named Bow. _(Thankyou __SarahB0B__)_

4. Ask Aro why he's wilting his skin._ (Thankyou LuvTwilight4Eva)_

5. Stand 3 feet away from Aro's hand and start yelling, "YOU CAN'T HEAR MY THOUGHTS!" _(Thankyou LuvTwilight4Eva)_

6. Talk about how he cant hurt bella for his life. _(Thankyou LuvTwilight4Eva)_

7. Tell him that his army sucks because it doesn't have a psychic, a emotion changer and a mind reader that doesn't have to be in arms length away to use his powers. _(Thankyou LuvTwilight4Eva)_

8. Ask him if he's Gay. _(Thankyou Candy Bird)_

9. When he asks why, point out how he sighs when edward walks into a room. _(Thankyou Candy Bird)_

10. Wonder out loud how the Volturi could stand up with all the enthusiasm.

11. Start poking him.

12. When he asks what you're doing, tell him "You're not as soft as I thought you were."

13. Run up and call him a blind old man.

14. Make him eat a hotdog.

15. Run off and buy a block of non-cooked pork blood from an asian supermarket.

16. Go back to Volterra, and stick it in his mouth.

17. Start yelling at him and ask if he changed his mind about being a veggie vamp yet.

18. Wave your hand infront of him.

19. When he asks what you're doing, ask him if the fog is stopping him from seeing your hand.

20. Let bloodthirsty nomads who haven't drank in months loose in Volterra.

**Ways to annoy Caius**

1. Remind him about being beaten by a pup. _(Thankyou SarahB0B ^_^)_

2. Tell him that a part werewolf, part human, part vampire, killed him in Moonlight's Daughters. (Rosalice+Rosabelle's pwnsome fanfic)_(Thankyou Rosabelle? o.o)_

3. Get Caius an intervention for his anger issues. _(Thankyou Candy Bird)_

4. Point out his urge to kill. Loudly. _(Thankyou Candy Bird)_

5. Call him an old fart. _(Thankyou Hergoldeneyes)_

6. Tell him that the other two are better than him. _(Thankyou Redrope2)_

7. Sit down in front of him and ask him to read you a bedtime story.

8. When he yells at you to get away, beg him to tell you why Dmitri and Stefan want to kill him so badly.

9. Poke him.

10. When he asks what you're doing, scream, "OMIGOD YOU DIDN'T FALL APART!"

11. Ask him why he likes driving species into extinction.

12. Tell him that he is living proof that opposites attract.

13. When he has no idea what you're talking about, tell him that he is the perfect portrait of un-enthusiasm, and that Aro is the opposite.

14. Repeat Aro's 15-17.

15. Repeat Aro's 20.

16. Ask him if he's ticklish, and if it's possible for vampires to be ticklish.

17. Instead of waiting for an answer, go ahead and start tickling him.

18. Steal his Volturi cloak.

19. Run around in the cloak and start screaming, "I will kill you!"

20. Get all your friends to join in.

_Coming Soon, 5 ways to annoy Jessica, 5 ways to annoy Angela, 5 ways to annoy Mike, and 5 ways to annoy Lauren =D  
_


	13. Mike and Jessica and Angela

**Author's Note: -pops bubble gum- Wow, you guys really like annoying Jessica =D I mean, she gets more then the 5 I promised her, and I didn't even get to write one. -widens eyes- -raises a glass of blood- To the readers, this one's for you! =D Anyway, I'm not dead. I just couldn't think of ways to annoy Angela and Lauren T_T Soo... I hope you don't all mind that I did not get Lauren in this, because so little is given about her D; Anyway, next, I'm doing "50 Ways To Annoy Edward Cullen:// New And Improved", because... well.. I kinda think the first ones were a tad cheesy ;D So hold on for an extra 30 ways to annoy him!  
**

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7 Ways To Annoy Jessica Stanley  
**

1. Tell her that Mike only chose her because Bella wouldn't date him x] (Thankyou _BubblyAmericanWriter1_)

2. Tell her that when Bella started to date Edward she started to despise her 'friendship'. (Thankyou _MayCullen_)

3. Remind her constantly about the fact that every boy in school used to drool over Bella, and not her. (Thankyou _MayCullen_)

4. Tell her she could never get a guy like Edward Cullen. (Thankyou _MayCullen_)

5. Tell her that Mike Newton is way out of her league. (Thankyou _MayCullen_)

6. Ask Jessica why she likes a loser like mike. (Thankyou _Flamepelt3377_)

7. Walk up to her and scream in her face "Edward picked Bella instead of you! (Thankyou _k3ll3nlutzl0v3r_)

**5 Ways To Annoy Mike Newton  
**

1. Tell him all the ways Edward is better than him (including that he got Bella and Mike didn't) (Thankyou _BubblyAmericanWriter1_)

2. Ask Mike why he keeps going for bella when she obviously isn't interested. (Thankyou _Flamepelt3377_)

3. Sign Mike up with Bella for Tennis.

4. Show him the clip of the Edward/Bella makeout scene from _Twilight._

5. Compare him with _Michael Buckley_ from the _What The Buck_ show.

**5 Ways To Annoy Angela Weber**

1. Ask her if she's a nerd only because she has no true friends. Afterall, Bella /did/ ditch her for Edward. (Thankyou _MayCullen)_

2. Play a baby-ish version of monkey in the middle with her camera.

3. Tell Angela that Ben is a vampire.

4. Poke her in the back several times throughout the day.

5. Ask her if her dad could marry you and Jacob (or insert any other not-married character here ;D No using Edward. Sorry peeps)

_Coming Soon, **50 WAYS TO ANNOY EDWARD CULLEN:// NEW AND IMPROVED!**  
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